Smut Marathon – Round 1 Roundup

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Floss Does Life did an amazing round up of the first round of entries for the Smut Marathon. So, in the tradition of writers everywhere, I’m going to write one inspired by her.  But go read the original. https://flossdoeslife.com/2019/02/smut-marathon-the-results-round-1/

And if you haven’t, go read the results as well! http://smut.rebelsnotes.com/2019/02/sm-2019-voting-1/

The first assignment was:

Write about the moment when two people first see each other.

Specific requirements
– No dialogue
– your story is between 30-50 words. No less, no more.
– give your story a title of maximum 2 words

My story was:

52) Losing Everything

When Molly first saw Eliza, her eyes slid up legs encased in shimmery stockings and the green silk mini-dress hugging her full curves. When she made it to Eliza’s laughing blue eyes, she lost everything. Self control. Bad memories. And later, in the back of Eliza’s car, her panties.

The Votes

This was a super hard challenge. I was tickled to have placed in the top ten in the public vote and fourth place in the jury vote. This was also my first year participating, so it was even more of an honor. Some people took huge risks. I felt that I played it a little safe, playing to some of my strengths.

The Feedback

Here’s some feedback I recieved:

52 – Another well-formed piece of fiction, that gave me a full story and a sense of the tale being complete, while definitely allowing my mind to elaborate on the bigger picture for the characters.

52 – This one also made my first short list. Maybe Molly caught my eye. But on further reading it just feels like something is missing and I think it is context again. Maybe ” When Molly first saw Eliza” at the ? And you had placed them somewhere it would have made it a much stronger piece.

52) That’s a lot of information in so few words. Especially “bad memories”.

52. Losing Everything: I really enjoyed this piece, the storytelling, the details. Only one tip: start either the first or second sentence with an other word than ‘when’.

52. Losing Everything: I smidge pat, but also clever. Made me smile.

52) Losing Everything (4)
What I thought worked: This is very sexy and, as with most of the stories in my top nine, one of the things that makes it stand out from the other stories in this round is that you’ve described the characters in detail (what they’re wearing etc.), so the reader can easily picture them and the story doesn’t feel generic.
What I thought worked less well: A minor quibble, but it would be good to get a sense of what Eliza noticed about Molly, too.

I love that it made people smile and how sexy they thought it was. I also appreciate the feedback that I packed a lot into a little space. Writing Tweetfiction really helped me hone that sill.

My Votes and My Feedback

But this isn’t just about me. This is also about the entries that caught my eye.

29 – Succubus by Raven Lee – I do love me some supernatural erotica. The thing that caught my eye on this one other than that last line is the mystery here. Humans are just food to this creature but something about this particular person has drawn her here. The mystery and raw power that Raven packed into this was one reason why I voted for it.

54 – Her Scent by Turtleberry – This was was all about the sensuality. TB drew on all five senses in such a short punchy paragraph. It seemed languid in spite of its brevity. Also I’m a sucker for honeysuckle.

57 – Wardrobe Malfunction by Cal – Humor and embarrassment are excellent ways to bring erotica down to earth and the detail of what she was wearing made this whole bit of flash just a little bit hotter.

82 – Living Fever by Owen Latchkey – This HOT meet cute was filled with poetry. Again the little details (Poe throw and wisps of steam) elevated it.

There were so many other good ones. Some left me scratching my head (did they know this was supposed to be smutty?). Some just didn’t trip my trigger. A LOT of this is subjective. Overall, it was a lot of fun. The next assignment has been posted and I look forward to it. If you’re participating, best of luck. If you’re not, VOTE!!!

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